|Notes from a small island
A weblog by Jonathan Ali
Saturday, April 05, 2003 I haven't said anything much lately on the political situation. There hasn't been much to say. It's been, depressingly, politics as usual. But the following has just slipped into my inbox (thanks, Rhoda). For my non T&T readers, don't worry if you don't get it; neither do we.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Prime Minister PATRICK MANNING
It is a policy of my Government to allow chickens who have been historically alienated from the other side of the road to now have access to that side. I am presently in discussion with community leaders in the area to ensure that the chicken is able to cross safely. So the question just does not arise. In fact, ladies and gentlemen, if you observe carefully you can actually see pep in its step.
National Security Minister HOWARD CHIN LEE
It is a result of a holistic plan to allow chickens from everywhere to cross the road safely without fear of being kidnapped. I have instructed the police and army to ensure a safe crossing. We need to make the roads safe to cross again. If we were not so vigilant, the chicken may not have come this far.
Opposition Leader BASDEO PANDAY
Brothers and sisters, for so long the chicken has toiled in the vineyards of the other side of the road. It is the result of years of struggle against discrimination that the chicken can now cross the road.
Opposition M.P. KELVIN RAMNATH
If the chicken is crossing in central Trinidad, its safety cannot be guaranteed.
Government M.P. KEITH ROWLEY
The chicken is free to go anywhere. The other side of the road does not belong to you!!!
Health Minister COLM IMBERT
The chicken cannot cross the road. It is dead!
Trade & Industry Minister KEN VALLEY
It could run, but it can't hide!!!
Team Unity Leader RAMESH MAHARAJ
We would have to file for an injunction to prevent more chickens from crossing....otherwise there is the option of judicial review.
House Speaker BARRY SINANAN
It is not a matter of urgent public importance.
Agriculture Minister JOHN RAHAEL
The chicken has recognised the need for a restructured road and this action is clearly an indication by the chicken to voluntarily separate itself from one side to the other.
Former President of the Republic A.N.R ROBINSON
The chicken is clearly acting within the confines of the rule of law and the Constitution. I have no doubt that the decision to cross the road is based on moral and spiritual values.
Opposition M.P. ADESH NANAN
The chicken is showing that there is now a shift in the "pardigm".
Education Minister HAZEL MANNING
To join other chickens having their "breakfases".
Government M.P. EDDIE HART
To voter pad!
Columnist KEVIN BALDEOSINGH
This whole question is deviod of any factual substance, yet the ignorant masses continue to ponder on this abstract concept from age to age. If we are to analyse this issue logically, according to scientific thought, chickens cannot distinguish one side of the road from the other and hence, cannot determine on which side it is on in the first place. In his Theory of Relativity, the reknowned German physicist, Albert Einstein theorises that the chicken is already on the other side, depending on your (the observer’s) position. Hence the debate will automatically follow that the chicken is constantly crossing the road. This is clearly an argument to foster the illusive and baseless concepts of omnipotence and omnipresence. The logical conclusion is therefore: there is no chicken.
posted by Jonathan | 6:34 AM 0 comments